So I was watching the Grammys briefly this year - enough to see Jamie Foxx do his best not to appear drunk and/or publicly hit on Sasha Fierce, about the closest thing you can get to a proposition to Jay-Z’s better half before he would likely break a bottle with your face. Anyway, it occurred to me that the Grammys have all but disregarded the entire Rock and Roll category - which is truly astonishing to me but at the same time not surprising; when the Grammys were founded in 1959 there was no rock category, so you can either claim everything was rock and roll or nothing was. Perhaps not surprising then the very first record of the year was a ballad sung entirely in Italian by Domenico Modungo, Volare - personally I like the Dean Martin version better but props to the first Grammy winner. Also - historical trivia tidbit - Grammy is named after the gramophone, invented by Thomas Edison as the first recording device for sound.
In an effort to give proper respect and more than the Recording Academy’s half assed effort in picking the actual best rock albums of the year - hey RA, just because Black Sabbath reunited and made an album for the first time in 30 years doesn't mean it’s automatically deserving of a Grammy. Or how about Led Zeppelin winning for best rock album with a live album - are you kidding me? I honor the Sabbath and love thy Zeppelin - as we all do - and I was ecstatic that Zeppelin reunited for a few shows in 2007, minus the Jon Bon, but the RA is telling us that not one original album from last year was better than some live recordings (which aren't that great - the Song Remains the Same and BBC Sessions are much better) of a once great band? Seriously? I’ll admit it wasn’t a great year for actual rock and roll, which is concerning, but I hope we aren’t in such a grave situation as to have to rely on Plant and Page reuniting for two shows to consider rock still alive.
Well folks, to quote the young Will Turner in Pirates of the Caribbean...that’s...not...good enough. So instead of JUST complaining for minutes/perhaps hours to my wife who didn’t have a bit of interest in my argument or the lack of rock respect in the Grammys, I decided to create my own awards - and rest assured, I put some effort and objective critical thought into it (as much as a father of 2 high energy kids and a DC commute can).
Without further ado, here are Robby V’s Rock* Awards for 2013 (the title may change over time, let’s just start with the honors to begin with).
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| Robby V Rock Award |
*Rock will be defined as a band or album that uses no more than 50% of computer-generated sound, i.e. keyboards, Ipads, keytars, that gadget Kanye West uses, and whatever gift God himself presented to Daft Punk to create a robot-derived career of goodness.
Best Rock Albums 2013
- Filter - The Sun Comes Out Tonight
- Pearl Jam - Lightning Bolt
- Gary Clark Jr. - Blak and Blu (Winner Robby V Rock Award 2013) * What can I say about this guy and this album? It’s new, it’s fresh, it’s a little R&B, a little soul, a little blues, and lot of rock. He’s been described as the modern generation Jimmy Hendrix - uh no. Give the guy some props of his own, he’s got a better voice and a creative intensity for fusing R&B into a primarily rock album - I’d say closer to Chicago in the early days than JH - plus don’t touch Jimmy’s guitar skills. Thou shalt not have quicker hands than Jimmy on the six string. When My Train Pulls In and the Life are standouts on the album, and there is a little something here for everyone. Bottom line, I’m glad Gary Clark Jr. is part of our world, may he go out and bless the world with rock. *
- AFI - Burials
- A Day to Remember - Common Courtesy
- The Super Happy Fun Club - All Funned Up
- Iration - Automatic
Best Rock Songs 2013
- Sirens - Pearl Jam
- Up in the Air - 30 Seconds to Mars
- When My Train Pulls in - Gary Clark Jr.
- Conductor - AFI
- Bones - Young Guns (Winner Robby V Rock Award 2013) * British, arena stomping chorus, Def Leppard-esque backing vocals - is there any doubt this song would win the Robby V award for best rock song? Not only does the album version of this song proudly display its massive cahones, but the acoustic recording (once free on Amazon, now free at this link if you Tweet) is just as good, if not better - and I swear Joe Elliott popped in just to sing a few lines for good measure, likely to prove who will forever sport the biggest and best mullet from Sheffield. This song came to America, took no prisoners, and immediately took advantage of the vulnerable heart of Robby V - knowing full well his weakness for British ballads. *
- Bleed Out - Blue October
- Shot at the Night - The Killers
- Good Year - Happy Joy Luck Club
- Come a Little Closer - Cage the Elephant
- Right Back At It Again - A Day to Remember
(One of my favorite genres of all time, this will start at 5 and probably expand to 10/15 songs soon, if you don’t listen to this music you are only robbing yourself.)
- One Way Track - Iration (Winner Robby V Rock Award 2013) * Originally from Hawaii, now SoCal, Iration are masters of blending reggae, dub, and rock. The entire album, Automatic, is fantastic, and this is easily the standout track. If you are not familiar with this genre of music, feeling a little nervous, confused, stressed - this is a perfect track to get you into this mind-altering lifestyle. It’s not just music, it’s a way of life...and a ton, a butt ton, of Mary Jane. Enjoy this song responsibly and don’t operate heavy machinery.*
- Just Another Dream - Stick Figure
- Thunder and Lightning - Common Kings
- Automatic - Iration
- Take Me On - The Green
2013 Comeback Artist of the Year
AFI
* This was a toss up between Pearl Jam, Filter, and AFI - but since PJ and Filter have generally had consistently good albums in the last decade, I had to go with AFI. Their last album before Burials was absolute trash and whatever they did in the last 5 years - it worked, because they are back and they are darker and more suicidal than ever. Their first single is called I Hope You Suffer...nuff said, thank God for whatever misery follows your every move because this track and every one with it makes my rock cockles tingle. It’s good to have you back AFI, the world was just too happy, sun-filled, and hopeful for the future without you. *
Random Grammy rants/thoughts:
Daft Punk album of the year. Are you out of your d-mn mind? Over Macklemore and Ryan (whatever his last name is - btw this dude is destined to be the ‘other guy from Wham!’ of our generation)?? I listened to the new DP album so many times trying, literally willing myself, to enjoy this album. The more I listened - the more I ended up being disgusted by it - because inevitably I would turn to any, ANY, of DP’s old albums and they were automatically better - infinitely better. Side note - I take enormous pride in playing Da Funk at a senior high school dance I co-DJ’d, to which the dance floor immediately emptied - I guess Manitowoc, Wisconsin, wasn’t ready for the Eurobot sound in 1998, as I was astonished to learn. Daft Punk’s new album is something I would expect the discarded androids in the jawa garbage truck on Tattooine to come up with, not the premiere musical bots of the 21st century...who apparently sent out invitations to famous artists to sing a line or two of lounge act noise over a weak digitized drum beat. Time to reset the hard drive on those helmets and try again in a few years guys. I bid you both...ad deiu.
Macklemore and...the other dude. Please don’t get addicted to coke and booze...please. For the sake of great new music and genre-breaking courage and innovation - do NOT become Kanye. I know Mack struggled with addiction before, and clearly this album was a rise from the ashes kind of story, but let’s keep our talents focused on the music and not doing awful Pepsi or Bud Light commercials (Pitbull you are a loser through and through, but oh how I love that Timber song).
Taylor Swift. The only good thing about Daft Punk winning was that their album name sounded like Taylor Swift’s, and as a result she thought she won….as eventually the entire world would see the next day. Enormous pleasure was achieved this day watching her assumption she was just going to win because...well she’s Taylor Swift. I get it - you write your own songs, you are young, you are good looking, people seem to like you...but for God’s sake, stop creeping me out with songs about John Mayer or whoever else’s carrot you waxed last week. You’re singing to a teenage girl audience (and a 33 year old male friend of mine living in Milwaukee - you know who you are), but you’re singing about guys in their forties, and then filming a video with your pajamas on - I don’t get it, who are you? Country? Pop? 15? 21? Please go home and turn on a good Disney Pixar movie - and then write songs...let’s stick to that, it works.
Dave Grohl. Can this guy get any cooler? He walks up on stage with Paul McCartney like they are drinking buds from college, and he’s rocking a t-shirt and black Levi’s at a Hollywood black tie event - and still recording albums in his basement or wherever he decides kick ass rock music needs to be written and recorded at that moment. Soundgarden/GNR/STP - please take note, this is how it’s done in the year 2013. The way you’re doing it...sssuuuuccckkks.
Best in 2014 everybody and let’s hope it’s an even better one for the lost art of rock and roll.
